How to Stay Young:
An Inner Process

If you want to know how to stay young, the story of my friend Brahm Memone may inspire you. I have known Brahm for years, and he hasn’t changed a bit! He looks barely 40 even though he is now 57. He is still the slim, smiling and spiffy gentleman I met at Toastmasters 10 years ago.

Wanting to discover how to stay young like him, I met Brahm for coffee in order to pick his brain, and this article is the result of our enlightening conversation.

Brahm’s Life Story

Despite being a qualified Chartered Accountant both in England and in Canada, Brahm’s professional success hit a wall in 1993. He was then 39. He wanted a life with purpose and meaning, and instead he felt like he was in jail. Unable to keep a job, he left everything he had – job, wife, children, house – and ended up living and sleeping in his car, which is not very comfortable when you are more than six feet tall!

How to Stay Young – Brahm Memone
How to Stay Young - Brahm Memone
In search of “something,” whatever this something was, he moved several times to places such as Nova Scotia and North Carolina. For several years, he had the “anti-Midas touch”, everything he became involved with turning to… a big mess! Things were not working well.

This is when he decided to stop looking outside for this special something. He attended many seminars and read extensively on transformation and motivation. He learned to meditate, hence starting his inner journey to self-realization. And he finally discovered that meaning comes from the inside.

He realized that his life purpose was to teach and coach, and he started his new career in 1997. However, his marketing skills didn’t match his desire to help others and, to meet his basic needs, he had to go back to accounting, offering consulting services to large corporations for several years. At that time, knowing his life purpose, he didn’t mind returning to accounting – and therefore avoiding having to live in his car –, but he still had his eyes on coaching.

In January 2010, he gave up accounting for coaching, his life purpose. He is now a successful coach and speaker on the theme “Live Your Greatest Life.” He is also in the process of writing a book on that same topic and, as I mentioned at the beginning of this article, he looks more than 10 years younger than his age.

Brahm’s Advice on How to Stay Young

So what is the secret of his young looks? Over the years, Brahm has successfully applied many techniques that he recommends on how to stay young by staying happy.

Life Purpose

When you have a purpose in life and a reason for getting up in the morning, you are enthused and you enjoy life. “Most people are pursuing happiness,” Brahm says, “but we are already hard-wired for happiness, so be an expression for happiness.”

Meditation

You are not going to find answers outside yourself. You have to look inside, and meditation is the best way to reach the inner self. If you have never meditated, read my article on Meditation Tips. Brahm recommends 15 to 20 minutes a day. Instead of being constantly busy, find time to reflect. As he says: “Don’t just do something, sit there!”

How to Stay Young – Writing
Writing to tap into your inner self
Writing

Writing is also a great way to tap into your inner self. Write what you are grateful for. Write how your life would be like if you were not busy all the time, i.e. what do you really want? Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, practice “reframing” and express the same thing in a positive manner.

Engagement

We live in a world of short attention span, especially if we are watching television on a regular basis. So, according to Brahm, we tend to be “dabblers of life,” never sticking to one thing long enough to effect a change. We need to engage ourselves. For instance, if we buy a self-help book, we should read it. If we go to a transformation seminar, we should apply what we learned before rushing to another transformation seminar. By always living “on the surface”, we tend to live in fear and this is toxic to the body.

Self-talk

Being aware of how we talk to ourselves is also very important to our well-being. As Brahm points out, saying “I am angry” refers to your whole being, while uttering “I am feeling angry” only includes your feelings which can easily change and don’t affect who you really are.

As I mentioned in my article on Love Compatibility: “Words and pictures have tremendous power, whatever their intent may be. If I tell you “don’t look at your fingers” or “don’t think of an orange”, what are you tempted to do? Our brains are inclined to cancel the negative form “don’t” and to focus on the suggestion itself. Therefore we must make an extra effort to avoid performing the unwanted action.”

Conditioning

Conditioning is what the social structure expects you to be doing for a person of your age. But you don’t need to be conditioned. You don’t need to act your age. What are your expectations, and what would you do differently if you decided you were 20 years younger?

Expansion of Attention

Brahm explains the interesting concept of focus as opposed to expansion. To him, focus relates to left brain and logical activities, while expansion deals with right brain and creative activities. Brahm feels that executives are often so narrowly focused that they lose their interest in life, while artists frequently lose touch with reality. We have to strike a balance between focus and expansion. Creativity relaxes you, and learning something new regenerates your brain. So strive to focus, while expanding your attention.

Relationships

Brahm believes in meeting new people, in sharing his knowledge with everyone, and in community-based relationships. He told me he remembers everyone he has met. What a great way to feel appreciated when you see him again, even if ten years have gone by! I once read that 85% of our happiness is based on our relationships. So how to stay young and happy? Create new relationships and cultivate the ones you already have.

How to Stay Young – Life is a Creative Process
How to Stay Young?
Life is a Creative Process
Enjoy the Journey

As Brahm teaches, “Life is a Creative Process.” It is not the destination that counts, but the journey itself. “If you don’t know how to live the process,” he adds, “you miss the point. Goals are just milestones.” Even though it is always advisable to have goals, make sure that the whole process of reaching your goals is enjoyable too.

Brahm asks: Will you be able to answer 'yes' to those three questions at the end of your life?

Did I really live?
Have I loved and been loved?
Did I make a difference?

If the answer is 'yes,' your life has a purpose. If the answer is 'no,' there is still time to find your purpose, and Brahm can help you. Visit Brahm Memone’s website.

How to Stay Young



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