Anger Management Tips:
What is the real cause
of your anger?
Anger management tips allow you to understand what is behind your anger and to discover the real reasons of your anger.
“My brother is able to get angry for no reason at all!” Interesting... If he cannot blame his misbehaving computer, the stupid drivers on the road, the Tax authorities, or life in general, he might as well have no reason to be angry. Let’s say instead that he is not aware of the reason behind his anger.
Anger is a strange feeling that is usually not caused by what it appears to be. Are we reacting to the mean computer or are we re-living other situations of helplessness? Who or what are we really angry at?
The following personal anecdote illustrates this misdirected wrath, and gives you some anger management tips.
A few years ago, being involved in group therapy, I was quite upset when Sue, one of the group members, used to flirt with every man she came in contact with. My reaction made no sense to me, since her behaviour didn’t seem to interfere with my life. One evening, after one particularly infuriating incident, I came home and, being alone, I decided to let my anger out by hitting a chair (representing Sue) with a plastic foam stick. I was screaming at Sue with all my strength when suddenly a different name came to my lips. “Mark!” I stopped. Why him? Memories came back. Mark – a man who had been very close to my heart a long time ago – used to flirt in my presence with every woman he met… the same way as Sue did it with men. My rage didn’t have anything to do with Sue. Only her flirtatious behaviour reminded me of Mark’s insensitive conduct. Unable to express my hurt feelings, I had kept them hidden all these years and I was now directing my anger at Sue who had nothing to do with Mark. Once I understood the cause of my anger, I was able to share it with the group and Sue’s flirting never bothered me any longer.
If you get infuriated with situations that do not call for it, you may want to go deeper and try to understand the root cause of your anger. You actually have a reason but maybe not the one you think. Remember those anger management tips: write your feelings down on paper, talk to understanding friends, or seek professional help. This is extremely empowering and may be very beneficial to you and the people around you.
And the next time your computer freezes, you’ll know there is a reason to your anger, but it is not that your computer wants to get even with you!
Anger Management Tips
Anger Management Tips
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